Could It Be Any Harder?
by Mikaela Darkwing
Summary: [Complete] The real reason why Mitsui was brought back and played basketball again...
1. 1

Hello people! Here I am again with my fic. But this time, I made it short. I really don't like to tire people with my fics. Tiring you with my first two fics is enough right? But this is a change. Mitsui is now the main character of this fic and not Rukawa. I dedicate this to my FRIEND MAX who really loved Mitsui no matter what. I knew she was the best Mitsui fan ever so I dedicate this to you Max. I hope you get to read this - My first ever sad fic. Find out if it would be tragic or festive. Please read and review. *  
  
  
  
  
  
I stumble upon the road once again, seeing nothing but leaves on the floor. I look up  
  
again in the sky. So clear and blue.Like her eyes.Looking at me once again. Once  
  
again. Mizumi Yukino, the girl next door has always been on my mind. That pale girl.  
  
I can't believe myself. I fell for her. Right on the hospital when I was still in Junior  
  
High. On that hospital, I cursed everyone and everytime telling them that they were to  
  
blame. To what happened to me. Then she went into my life with all the white roses  
  
on my vase. Smiled at me but I didn't care. So what? She's just a whimp. But then we  
  
became friends. After Kogure visited me that day, she went inside as well, she thought I  
  
was sleeping. But I was just pretending, I just want to see what she's gonna do. And  
  
bingo! White flowers, she's the person who always gave me white flowers - but I never  
  
knew it was her. Then I asked her why. She was surprised with that. She blushed, she  
  
thought I was sleeping. But I wasn't that warm to her, I was so cold. So cold. Then  
  
she just smiled and opened the window as the sunlight reached her face. her pale face. All she said was "It reflects your personality, so white, so pure." then she left. After all  
  
the ignoring I have done to her. She kept her poise and kept on befriending me, no  
  
acceptance of defeat, of failure. She was unlike me. She was full of hope no matter  
  
what. Maybe I liked her for that. But the happiness she gave me wasn't enough then, I  
  
think. I cursed the world so much that I never noticed the beautiful things around  
  
me.And her.  
  
  
  
Then they came, those bikers and punks that I considered friends. I don't know why,  
  
maybe because they let me make the depression fade by wrecking other people's lives.  
  
Damn, that was good. It takes all the hard feeling away. Then and there I had the heart of  
  
stone. Didn't care about anyone, anything or even nothing. Lied to my parents, made hell  
  
out of people's lives, quit school, stopped life from running and closed my life from  
  
basketball. And she was just there peeking at me. Whenever I see her looking at me, I get  
  
depressed. She always give that frown on her face that I hated so much. It told me a  
  
very clear message. "Stop that Mitsui. Come back." Shit, I hate it. She always have  
  
that pity on her eyes. I never needed mercy from any people. I need mercy from no one,  
  
no one. No one.  
  
  
  
Then there was the Shohoku team. I wanted to destroy them but now. I am a part of it.  
  
An ex-MVP playing with all of the persons I really hated. Coach Anzai, I never hated  
  
him - he inspired me. People think he is the sole reason why I came back. but no, he  
  
isn't. maybe basketball. I really love basketball but. Coach Anzai and my arousing  
  
interest is not the real reason after all. The reason why is. 


	2. 2

HER. It was her who encouraged me to bring life back to myself. To let her see again the Mistui that she admired. The Mistui so alive on court, on school. This time I cared. I knew it was the right thing to do so here I am. Playing and loving once more. I don't care what happens to me now. All I want to see is Mizumi happy. To see my true self again - playing basketball. I had loved her, I guess. But no one knew. Kogure, Akagi, Miyagi, Ayako - my parents. My parents didn't care too so who cares now? Only me. And the girl I love. Days passed into weeks and these weeks into months. And my little Mizumi was just there. I kept waiting till the day I could tell her how much I love her. How I really loved her but too scared to tell her. And I kept playing for her - for her.  
  
Then I could hardly see her. I would always look outside my window to see if she's there. No nothing not even a sign of her hair or a strand of it. I missed the sound of her shoes that was so light I could hardly notice it was her. It felt so cold looking at nothing and perhaps - waiting for nothing? But I just kept these thoughts inside me and pretended like nothing is really happening to me. Like a was still this Mr. MVP who can wipe any team at any instance but I was not. I kept thinking about her - it's the least I can do to keep a serene atmosphere inside me. Inside me. I kept knocking at her door but no answer. I wish I knew where she was. Where she really was. I looked for her at the hospital where she always went - she was a volunteer there. She wasn't there. I looked for her at her school and her teacher told me that she wasn't attending her classes this past few days. Why? She always told me to study and attend my schooling as always. But where is she now? Where is my Mizumi Yukino? The water that kept on flowing and the first warm snow that the earth has ever experienced. Where is she now? Did she left me? My life? Could it be any harder to know she just went off without any good-byes?  
  
I missed her so much, I always waited for her then it came. A phone call that made me crash into pieces. "Mr. Mistui Hisashi?" "Yes, it's me" "I am a doctor from Kanagawa Hospital." "Hospital?" At the first thought, I felt a chill on my spine thinking that one of my parents met an accident. "We need you here right away, sir we will." I put down the phone not wanting to hear the next lines that he would say and picked up my mother's car even though I have no license on driving and rushed there.  
  
And now I am here standing looking at the operating room window. No, it's not my mom or my dad or anyone else. It's Mizumi. Three months on the hospital. Heart ailment the doctor said. I asked him why me. He told me he found my number on her wallet the day before she collapsed on her private room. He thought I might be someone important for her. I wish I wasn't so I won't feel this awful. She wasn't really a volunteer on that hospital and wasn't really an active young lady. She's now here fighting for her life all this time and where was I? Just here standing not even getting close to her. No.  
  
Why are things so cruel to me? My life was hell before and then You gave her to me. To suit me fine and we were perfectly fine and now? You're taking her away? We were just getting started and You're taking her away from me? You know she's the only person I had loved and now? Why do these things need to happen to me? Why? 


	3. 3

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If I have just one more day.  
  
I'd lie down and blind myself with laughter.  
  
A quick fix of hope is what I'm needing.  
  
And how I wish I could turn back the the hours.  
  
But I know I just don't have the power.  
  
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All I did was say these things. Hesitation, anxieties and dark clouds surrounded me. Then her operation was over. Rest is what she needs they told me. Maybe after a day she'll wake up. They told me they'll take care of her so I can go home but. I won't go. I'll make sure she's okay, just fine. The next thing that happened the morning after her first day of rest was she woke up. So happy to see her. I was holding her hand then. Then I looked at her. "You owe me one." I told her. She just smiled and didn't speak. "You told me to attend my classes and not to lie and you did these things." I tried to smile but the sadness inside me was so much bare in her sight. A tear fell from her eye. "D-Don't worry about me." She said in a weak voice. I wept. I touched her lips and told her everything was going to be fine. She cried as well. "Hisashi-san, Hisashi-san" She said as crystal tears flowed from her eyes. I can't take this anymore. All the pain and suffering that she had since birth. I let go of her hand and embraced her closer to me. The closest I reached to a girl. A special girl in my heart. "She cried continuously "I love you, I love you, I love you!" I cried once more and she did too. The greatest revelation I spoke out. "I don't care whatever you would say now. All I want to do is tell to tell how much you mean to me. Please Mizumi Tsukino, don't leave me." "Stop Hisashi-san." I stopped looking at her. A tear fell again from her eye but now not because of sadness but because of joy. "I love you." Then I felt her warmth again and we stayed for long until I need to leave. Everything was fine. Two weeks. The girl I loved until the next day.  
  
I went on to her room and the whole hall was so crowded. What was happening? Mizumi! I rushed to her room again and went to her and there she was again in the operating room. Her heart couldn't sustain her sickness any longer. I touched the window of the operating with my sweaty hands and dropped down to my knees. She was crying so loud. I can't listen to her until. "HISASHI-SAN! HISASHI-SAN! NO! HISASHI-SAN!" I was shocked I stood up and went straight inside. Doctors stopped me but no match with a gangster's heart. "Mizumi! Hold on! I'm here!" "Hisashi.san." She said weakly and her eyes closed. "NO!" Then they threw me outside. I slept beside the door not moving there. It was so cold that night. So cold. So cold. "Hisashi-san. Wake up." "Mizumi?" "Don't worry now okay?" "How come?" "Don't speak." She drew herself near me and she was so warm. I embraced her as close as I could get and kissed her. My first kiss. Then I felt like her face was getting colder. Colder. Then I woke up. "MIZUMI!" She can't be dead. Then the nurses went out and nodded at me. My face brightened. "Mizumi!" I ran to her and she was there giggling. I brushed my tears as I saw her giggling. "You girl, what are you giggling?" I joked like I was angry. She knew I was joking so she just smiled. I embraced her again but now it's for real. I kissed her again but this time. It's for real. -----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Like sand on my feet.  
  
The smell of sweet perfume.  
  
You stick to me forever.Oh baby."  
  
I wish you didn't go.  
  
I wish you didn't go.  
  
I wish you didn't go away.  
  
To touch you again.  
  
With life in your hands.  
  
It couldn't be any harder.  
  
Harder.  
  
Harder.  
  
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"I won't let you go now." "I won't go. I won't..Because I love you." "I love you too."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
^_^ That's it! I really love this fic and I do think the title is just right for this story. Hai. By the way. The song here are lines from the song "Could it be any harder" It's really good so I advise you to check out that song. Oh, well so that's it. Thank you for reading my fic! And by the way, please submit a review right after you read this. Thank you! 


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